Very Interesting Article

Click this link and read the article, I find it very interesting.

http://www.bicyclefixation.com/graffiti.htm

Some snippets:

"I think that if we look beyond the territorial message of gang graffiti, we will see a desperate attempt to counterbalance the insult that the proponents of modernism have shouted at us all from every corner for the last fifty years."

" The store has the aforementioned four sides. Where is the entrance? In the parking lot, of course, in tacit acknowledgement that this store is not designed to serve the neighborhood it occupies. What is on the other three sides? On one is the loading dock and the dumpster. And this is most interesting: on the other two sides, there is nothing. Nothing at all. Not even a token doorway: nothing. Just a vast expanse of cinderblock wall one and a half stories high, painted in the cheapest possible grade of plain white paint, and (on one side) a narrow strip of glass set up nearly at the roof level, so that someone outside looking in sees only the ceiling, and someone inside looking out sees only the smog."

Memoir

This is a memoir I'm writing for my English 145 class, tell me what you think. It's on my visit to Berlin in Spring of 2006.

“Pack lightly, dress in layers and be sure to have a hat, gloves and muffler.” I can remember my German professor my freshman year of college saying something to the effect of that during my German 361 planning course, which was planning our trip to Berlin March 9^th until March 19^th. To give you an idea of what my professor was like, think average crazy foreign language professor, horribly over-educated and used old-fashioned terms like “muffler” (which according to today’s vernacular, is a scarf). To give you an idea of what we were planning for, it was for what would ultimately make me choose German as my major, fascinate me with German and European culture in general, and leave me with a painful yearning to return. Despite various downsides such as getting thoroughly annoyed by most of my fellow group comrades, not packing warm enough (who would’ve know northern Germany would reach record low temperatures and snow levels during my visit), it really was a very memorable, noteworthy, and life-changing experience.

Before I blabber on and on about getting goose-bumps at various points throughout my journey, finally being able to put my German skills to the test et cetera, I must go into detail about what my group was like and how we planned for this odyssey. My professor, like I previously stated, had the persona of the average cool, friendly scholar who teaches German and listens to nothing but classical music. The other people in the group came from all over Illinois from the Quad Cities to Chicagoland, all had varying music tastes, and to my surprise all were easy to get along with for the most part and were definitely nice people. I really shouldn’t say “for the most part”, as I am one of those people who gets sick of seeing people all of the time who aren’t good friends or family after a few days.

Our plan was simple; sign up for a course with no pre-requisite, pay a ton of money, get obliterated by the bureaucratic paperwork necessary to go on such a trip, plan what we’d like to do during our visit and finally execute our plans while there. We met every Wednesday evening at 5 p.m. until our departure and planned as well as learned a little about Berlin history, which definitely fascinates me above all chapters of German history. From the Berlin being founded by combing various smaller German cities of the Holy Roman Empire, to the bombing during World War II, to the separation of East and West Berlin during the Cold War, to the re-unification and re-building of this great world city from the early 90s until today. I was going to experience this history first hand, and I was quite excited.

If I had any sense in me at the time, I would’ve definitely tried to save my enthusiasm and excitement until the flight over the Channel from Heathrow Airport in England to Tegal Airport in Berlin. The route we took was exhausting and definitely took its toll on me. From Macomb we utilized the punctual, efficient, and comfortable Amtrak rail system (I’m being quite facetious) to get to Union Station in Chicago. From there we took a break, ate lunch and then hopped on the Blue-Line EL to O’Hare airport which could be considered at the opposite end of the city. We then waited a good 2 hours or so in the terminal after smoothly moving through security (quite a surprise it was!) and boarded the massive, over-stuffed Boeing 777 to begin our journey across the pond.

Keep in mind it was then 4 p.m. or so, and I had woken up at 7:30 a.m. to make my 8:30 a.m. train and hadn’t slept a minute so far. While on the plane, after dealing with weirdos that were seated near me, and sitting in the middle of the middle set of seats, I took refuge at a surprisingly empty spot just a few rows up with only 2 other people in the row, both were sleeping like babies. Alas I still was not able to sleep, but I certainly was able to read many chapters in my thick U2 biography and not receive chilling, creepy smiles from strange middle-aged women sitting 2 seats away.

Once we arrived at Heathrow, I would’ve fancied milling around in the international terminal for a little while longer and to have been thoroughly amused by the various British, Irish and Scottish dialects coming out of people’s yammers. However an Airbus was waiting in a terminal far, far away and it wouldn’t have done a yank like me any good standing around like 9 o’clock half-struck over such hilarity, so we made our way over and boarded our flight. To my surprise though, our pilot was a stereotypical Scotsman which definitely made up for it.

It thoroughly sucked that the only sleep I got was during the 50 minute flight over the Channel to Tegal Airport in Berlin, because it was far from enough. Coming out of the plane a little disoriented as I usually am coming out of short nap certainly did not help the situation either. There were two huge lines through the passageway into the terminal; one for citizens of the new and perplexing European Union, and one for everyone else. When it was finally my turn to hand the stern looking German police officer my passport, I was verified to indeed be Peter J. Nelson and I smiled and replicated my dumb expression which my passport photo possessed. My heart started to finally beat a little faster because my excitement was slowly increasing… or was I about to blackout due to the hardships I had just endured and my empty stomach which was growling furiously at me?

We made our way to the currency exchange and learned how to ask the almighty Euro handler in German to exchange various amount of Dollars, as well as Traveler’s Cheques. From there we made our way to a sort of tourism counter to buy a discount card and get in on some sweet reduced public transportation fairs, gazing at the lavish airport interior en route. When we found out which bus would take us to one of the main hubs of Berlin transit, Alexanderplatz in the former End Berlin, we boarded, showed the stereotypical German male driver our passes, and got seated.

I find it quite strange that the cheesy, European interior designed bus and deep, relaxing German voice informing me about which stops we were approaching are parts of the journey which I remember with great detail. Oh and let’s not forget the hum and hiss of the Mercedes-Benz turbo diesel engine beneath me which was moving the hulk of a vehicle along. The bright yellow hand railings (painted such a color to ensure safety and maximum visibility… those sly Germans!), the weird print on the seats, the most-efficient-use-of-space seating arrangement, and the strategically placed ticket machines/verifiers made a good first impression on me, in honor of the people of the Bundesrepublik Deutschland.

That is all I have so far, I've got a good two pages or so left to write.

(insert goosebump-inducing Ambient song here)

I've felt great over the past couple of days. After thinking about that girl quite a bit, what with camp planning and thinking about NIOS duties in general, I swiftly kicked myself in the ass, called her up, and told her how I felt and asked what she thought.

She was flattered, the conversation was not awkward, and the thing we had going over the summer was indeed something. That is all I wanted to hear. That alone made me feel like somebody had removed an Acme anvil from my chest and had allowed me to breath freely. It's really kind of hard to explain, but I've just got a better outlook in general about everything.

Not now, but rather maybe someday. Such a thought really makes me yearn to move forward and enjoy what awaits me, not just relationship-wise but the future in general.

What will happen when that girl and I are hanging out, planning for camp, and at camp together? Will it be awkward? I highly doubt it, I think it will be rather quite enjoyable.

What Goes Up Must Come Down

Such a statement, why does it always describe my feelings? I swear I'll be on a role, ready to seize the day, and the slightest lame remark from somebody will fuck everything up and put me in a deep, deep rut.

I beg of whoever reads this... friends, family, please do not do such a thing to me if you have any concern or love for me.

Turning Point

"now it's time for your, TURNING POINT!!!!!!!!"

Existence Decay

So, that certain girl that I was a little interested in and who I thought was interested in me, turns out has been dating some dude for quite sometime. It was one of those instances that has happened, again.

The best part is the dude she's dating seems to be sort of a dunce, which definitely makes everything that much better!

Downer after downer, that's all my experience with girls is. I mean, I shouldn't be so hard on myself, she seemed to go along with everything while I was talking about hanging out.

I recall one instance, where the message she sent me on facebook didn't seem right. I know, it's facebook, I'm a total lame motherfucker for exchanging words via facebook, but I swear one particular message she sent didn't fit, and didn't look very... hopeful. I remember getting a text from Lisett right near the end of our breakup which seemed the same way. Weird, maybe it's some weird sixth sense.

Man, and right when I felt my ability to take interest in girls again was coming back...

How shall I celebrate? I should get my mind off of this and just read all day, exist somewhere else.

So who now? I can only hope for one of those situations where some amazing girl comes out of left field and blows me away when I least expect it... but then that contradicts itself entirely.

Damaged

I've had a weird feelings lately. I've been into a certain girl lately, and I'm pretty sure she's into me. It's the kind of situation however, where taking it slowly and getting to know the person slowly and not jumping into anything is the best decision. The reason I say this is she may indeed be that kind of girl I would really indeed be into and could definitely be in a strong relationship with her. I've definitely been seeing results from these baby steps, which is something to be happy about.

However it seems like something is missing. Why is she not on my mind as much as girls before that I've had a thing for? Why don't I really go out of my way to hang out with her and make progress come even sooner? I'm certainly attracted to her, and certainly find her personality and likes to be at a high level of radness. Though like I said before, it doesn't feel like situations before.

Could it be that my interest in that other girl before her has somehow damaged me? Could I be looking at the big picture and figuring out whether or not it would last since I'll be gone from ISU all of spring semester and out of the country, thousands of miles away from March until July? It feels like liking and longing for that other girl has indeed damaged me, for there are a few other girls that, while I don't feel the same about as this new girl, are also absent of those crush feelings I tend to have.

Interesting. At this rate, could my interest in women in general slowly fade away into well, no interest at all? Could I become some celibate, bland human shell? Hehe, that's a little far-fetched, I doubt such a thing would happen.

Why does it seem like no woman will ever "wow me" again?